LESSONS FROM MY MOTHER - OLD BUT CLASSIC ONE
..."I Owe My Mother"...
1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE *.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"
4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC* .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. *My mother taught me IRONY *.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS *.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA* .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION *.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."
16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING *.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE *.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."
19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. *My mother taught me HUMOUR.*
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT *.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
"You're just like your father."
23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS *.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. *M y mother taught me WISDOM*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE *.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
..."I Owe My Mother"...
1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE *.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. *My mother taught me RELIGION*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"
4. *My mother taught me LOGIC*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC* .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. *My mother taught me IRONY *.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS *.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA* .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION *.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. *My mother taught me about ENVY*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."
16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING *.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE *.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way."
19. *My mother taught me ESP*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. *My mother taught me HUMOUR.*
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT *.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. *My mother taught me GENETICS*.
"You're just like your father."
23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS *.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. *M y mother taught me WISDOM*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. *My mother taught me about JUSTICE *.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.