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Thought of The Day: "Be wise enough to walk away from the nonsense around you."

..."Mistakes on a resume joke"...

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roshini
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..."Mistakes on a resume joke"...

Post by roshini on Sat Dec 27, 2008 1:17 pm


These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications:
I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short
notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally
omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been
rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

RESUME BLOOPERS

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions."

REASONS FOR LEAVING MY LAST JOB:

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."


JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:

"While
I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly
disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate
the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to
ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial
management as the major sphere of responsibility."

"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."

SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:

"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep."

PERSONAL INTERESTS:

"Donating blood. 14 gallons so far."

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."


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kool~nomi
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Re: ..."Mistakes on a resume joke"...

Post by kool~nomi on Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:17 am

hahaahaha roshni yeh tumhari resume toh nhn lolzzz lol3 .........wrong section i think ..........so is ko lounge mein move karte hain ....


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roshini
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Re: ..."Mistakes on a resume joke"...

Post by roshini on Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:21 pm

clap 2 alle wah mod jiii ne to apna kaam karna suru kar diya hai jiii... clap 2
sunny sunny sunny
.


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Re: ..."Mistakes on a resume joke"...

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