by roshini Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:56 pm
Have people been challenging you every time you express an opinion? Do you keep agreeing to do things that you really do not want to do? Have loved ones been demanding more of your time than you can possibly give? Have they been ignoring you or dismissing your importance in a relationship? Maybe you are simply feeling drained by trying too hard to accommodate too many people? Chances are high that your aura is a little too open and your personal boundaries are getting blurred. It is very probable that people are walking into your personal space leaving you emotional, tired, numbed out, confused or scattered.
Defining and maintaining personal boundaries is vital if we are to maintain our sanity and energy levels. And the purpose is simple – we need to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell others when they are behaving unacceptably or simply demanding too much of us. All of us have a right to protect and defend our boundaries and it is never too late to start setting limits about how much you want to give of yourself in your relationships.
Even loved ones can sometimes unwittingly drain us with their demands. My four year old son is learning that when his mommy needs “me time” he has to leave me alone for a short time. Not only does he see me emerge happier after a 15 minute break from him, he too is learning that it is important to take time out for himself.
As adults, learning how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to respect and love yourself. Remember we all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity . No one deserves to be lied to, abused, ignored or belittled. Boundaries help us communicate our needs clearly and put us on the path to self empowerment.
Setting boundaries is not about issuing threats, it is simply a clear communication where you express your demands and state clearly what is acceptable and unacceptable to you. For example, a young man whose father was pressuring him to join the family business found the courage to say, “No, I want to find my own wings.” There is a woman whose angry spouse was draining her with his tantrums. She too, eventually found a way to say, “Don’t vent your anger on me, I will not have it.”
If setting boundaries is new to you, expect a reaction and expect to be tested by your significant others. Your partner, parent, child and friend will find this side of you unfamiliar and may provoke you further or choose not take you seriously. Reassert yourself if necessary and stand your ground. Remember at the end of the day, it is your peace of mind that matters.
AURA PROTECTION
Your aura is your personal shield and it grows more defined as you become more and more aware of your self. Practice saying “No, let me be in peace” silently or aloud everyday.
Your Boundary Bill of Rights by Cat Burton
1. You have the Right to be treated with respect.
2. You have the Right to say NO without feeling guilty.
3. You have the Right to make a mistake.
4. You have a Right to ask for what you want and need.
5. You have the Right to express your feelings and opinions.
6. You have the Right to change your mind.
7. You have the Right to feel good about yourself no matter what others
say.
8. You have the Right to act in your own best interest as long as you don’t
violate others in the process.
Enough said, I do hope this information helps you. Here’s a quote that I hope inspires you the way it inspired me. “We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to situations and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”